1)   The real marriage is the heart-to-heart union, the love, nurturing, the caring, the sharing, and the commitment that comes out of that. 

2)   The second aspect is the public ceremony and celebration  in which you publicly express your love and commitment to your partner and also where you seek and receive the love and support of your family and friends.

3)    The third aspect is the legal commitment for which most couples go to the state and obtain a marriage license.

For example, there are elderly couples who are (and have been for years)  in  heart-to-heart, God sanctioned marriages that are not legal marriages.   These people do not become legally married  because if they did, their social security, their pensions,  insurance,  and/or other financial benefits would be terminated  or significantly reduced.

There are also hundreds of thousands of couples who consider their private, personal commitment to each other to be just that -- private and personal.   They intentionally avoid becoming bound by the government's rules and regulations.   

There are also couples who desire, but are denied access to the legal status and social benefits available within a state-sanctioned, legal marriage.    There are hundreds of thousands of couples who are in heart-to-heart unions that they themselves consider to be God-sanctioned.

For example,  in spite of their own personal religious beliefs, members of the gay and lesbian community are denied the rights and privileges of a legal union because the mainstream Christian community considers their union to be God-condemned,  not God-sanctioned.   

It is my personal belief that  The Infinite Source of  All That Is and Isn't   (which we refer to as God )  is not asking  me to judge, condemn, or deny the rights of anyone.

"Love your neighbor and yourself."

"Do onto other as you would have them do onto you."

 "As you judge others, so you shall be judged."

And I also hold to the spirit of  "The Universal Law of Allowing" which says:

"You are who you are.   I accept, honor, and respect you as you are.   I honor, allow, and support you in being, doing, having, expressing, and experiencing yourself exactly as you are.    I ask that you honor my right to be who I am.   As long as you avoid violating others or violating the rights of others, I will honor your right to be, do, have, express, and experience whatever you choose."

In respect for the above-mentioned spiritual values, I honor everyone's right to express their love in any way they so choose.   Some of you obviously hold to different values and beliefs.   I also honor your right to disagree with me.  

You may also chose to hold a public declaration of your love without creating any legal contracts such as those created via your state's marriage license.

I will officiate your  "Marriage of the Heart,"   your  "Ceremonies of Commitment,"  or your spiritual union by whatever name you choose to call it.   You simply need to sign a statement acknowledging that the ceremony is an expression of your "Marriage of the Hearts" -- a union between you, your partner, and God only -- a union that specifically and intentionally denies any legal content or commitment.   

At your public ceremony, I will also need to openly express your intention that both your declaration of love and your ceremony represent a union between you, your partner, and God only;   that they have no legal standing in law;   that they are not intended to have any legal standing;   and that they expressly deny any legal standing.

Why is this important.   Your public statement of marriage could be construed to be a verbal contract, and to avoid any possibility of future arguing about who agreed to what,  we intentionally eliminate that as a possibility.

When people talk about  prenuptial agreements,  clouds cover the sun and cold winds begin to blow.   Nobody wants to even consider the possibility that their upcoming marriage will be among the fifty percent that ends (on average)  in four years if no children are involve and in seven years when children are involved.    Most people simply ignore this possibility and  have no contingency plan regarding what they will do if their marriage bliss turns to something quite the opposite of blissful.

Well, while the people slept, the government lawyers stepped in, and in their own inimitable fashion, provided  a contingency plan for you, which of course, put them in a position to collect money from you if you ever needed to alter their contract.   That legally binding contract is called a marriage license.    Most people sign a marriage license with the same abandon that a child has on Christmas morning, BUT. . .   what is a marriage license?  (See the next section below.)

A marriage license is a pre-nuptial agreement.   It is the government's pre-nuptial agreement.   When you sign a marriage license, you are actually agreeing to be bound by the laws in a several-hundred-page, legal  document called  "Marriage and Family Law."   It was written by lawyers, it is administered by lawyers, and guess whose interest is first and foremost in that document.   Lawyers, of Course!   Let the signers beware!